A Very Coulrophobic Birthday
by CiZiwejes
Summary: It's Sammy's second birthday and John's attempt for a surprise birthday gift was surprisingly shocking, causing 6 year-old Dean to do the unthinkable. A fic dedicated to Anjelicious and every one who were born in June. Enjoy! Wee-chester.


Disclaimer: Neither of the boys nor their father belongs to me. My Bonnie song was the property of Tony Sheridan and the Beat Brothers (1962).

a/n: This story was written for Anjelicious for her coming birthday, and for all readers who celebrate their birthday in June. Here's a gift for you, a story with baby Sammy in it. This wee-fic was done with the help of lovely Darkaina whose idea had triggered this one-shot. Hope you'll enjoy reading and if you have the time, kindly leave a review. But as long as you enjoyed the story, review doesn't really matter (I'm lying, he) :)

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**A VERY COULROPHOBIC BIRTHDAY**

"It's my turn now Sammy…you had had enough" Dean crossed his skinny arms across his chest and looked down to his baby brother who grinned up at him stupidly. Sammy had wrapped around his shoulders the black cloak Dean made out of the motel's blanket.

"Me Batman" Sammy ignored him completely. He lied down on his belly and pretended flying instead. His lips trembled in the effort of making a flying sound. It sounded more like the roar of the Impala rather than the whirling of the wind. "Batman fly"

Dean rubbed a weary hand over his face. "Aww Sammy…Batman doesn't fly, that's Superman" he corrected. Not only he had his role taken over by Sammy, now Sammy had scarred Batman's dignity. Sammy glanced up at him with confusion lined his face as his mind worked on what Dean had just said.

"Bats?" he asked innocently. "Bats fly"

Dean cringed. His eyes widened seeing the puppy eyes staring at him intently; demanding and hungry for information. The six year-old Winchester puckered his lips and sighed. "Yeah…bat flies" no use for arguing, Sammy would win over him and he would have let Sammy win anyway.

"Batman fly!" Sammy grinned then started running around the room. Then he rolled and reeled on the carpet, hid behind the couch and crawled on the floor -all the while stalking on Dean - trying his best to mimic Batman's MO from what he saw in TV. Dean hunched his shoulders in defeat while Sammy – _too carefree than any normal child should be_ - ran around him in circles.

…………………………………

When he agreed to play with Sammy before, they had promised that it would be him playing Batman and Sammy would be Boy Wonder. But when he was done making Batman's cloak, Sammy threw the yellow cloak away because he disliked the color, and took the black one from him. When Dean snatched it back from him, baby Sammy was quiet. Then he sobbed and his eyes watered. He didn't like to see Sammy cries so he gave it back to Sammy though he really wanted to be Batman.

Earlier today Dean had promised himself not to argue with Sammy. Today is Sammy's birthday and Daddy said it happens only once every year. Sammy is two today. Daddy told him last night that he will have a birthday surprise for Sammy when he returns. Dean had promised Daddy to look after Sammy while he was out. Early in the morning, when he told Sammy that today is his birthday Sammy clapped his hands happily, asking questions Dean was unaware of the answers and then after ten minutes, Sammy forgot all about it. But Dean has not forgotten.

Dean had had birthdays before. He remembers Mommy making cake with cars on it and lots of icing and chocolate and candies. Dean loved the cake, the cars, the icing, and chocolate and candies then, and Dean loves Mommy. Sammy has never meet Mommy and has never eaten Mommy's cake. Poor Sammy. Every day Dean wishes for Sammy to know Mommy because Mommy is the greatest Mommy in the world and the cake is the bestest ever. He misses Mommy so much but Sammy must have missed her more because Sammy is still a baby. A baby like Sammy needs a mommy.

But Dean is here with Sammy. He will make sure Sammy never misses Mommy too much. One day, when he grows up, he will bake a cake with cars and chocolate and icing and candies just like Mommy's for Sammy's birthday. But today, he can't because he's small and doesn't know how to make a cake so he gave Sammy a boss-free voucher of which Sammy can use anytime he wants as a birthday present.

"Look Deannie…I fly!" Sammy calls him Deannie again. Dean doesn't like Deannie because it is a girl's name.

"It's Dean Sammy"

"Okay"Dean watches Sammy climbs up the couch warily. "Deannie look!" Sammy jumps and waves his cloak around. Sammy looks like he is flying when he does that. Dean walks to Sammy and stays close; just to make sure Sammy will not fall.

Dean will let Sammy calls him Deannie for today. But tomorrow he'll tell Sammy not to call him Deannie anymore. Not that he hates Sammy calling him Deannie, but he's a grownup now. Daddy always said Dean is a grownup so he has to take care of Sammy because Sammy is just a baby. A grownup must have a grownup's name. Dean is a grownup's name.

"Dean, Sammy! I'm home!"

It must be Daddy. Daddy's home and Daddy has a surprise for Sammy. Dean grabs baby Sammy and hushes him. "Daddy has a surprise for you" he tells Sammy so that Sammy will stop jumping and focus on Daddy.

"Sur…serpais?"

Sammy's eyes are round and big when he looks up to Dean. Dean grins and holds Sammy's tiny hand in his. Sammy doesn't know how to say surprise. Dean hasn't taught him yet. He had taught Sammy to say a lot of things – apple, cat, daddy, and many more but not surprise. The ABC book doesn't have surprise in it.

Dean takes baby Sammy into his arms and together they wait for Daddy to appear through the door. Sammy claps his hands when Daddy opens the door and Dean jumps when suddenly Sammy screams out so loud.

……………………………………….

When John first entered the motel room, he had anticipated differently of the response he would be getting for his effort to surprise Sammy. He thought Sammy loved what he did when the baby started clapping prior to his entrance but John was shocked to see the next response. His youngest started wailing out loud when he saw his face; all smeared with colorful make ups he had spent hours to put on with Bobby's help.

John watched with a gaping mouth and unbelieving eyes as Sammy started throwing a fierce tantrum in his big brother's arms. Sammy screamed and wrestled his way down from Dean's cradle; wheezing and panting breathlessly from excessive crying. His chubby face was stained with tears and fear. Even John's oldest was stunned from the baby's fury.

Dean let Sammy down when the latter started kicking and punching to free himself from his protective arms. One or two of the tiny punches smacked him right in the face and Dean couldn't help but flinched at the stinging pain. But it pained him more to see his little Sammy so scared and horrified.

John and Dean watched helplessly as Sammy scrammed to one corner of the room and cowered there with his back towards them. The baby's body was wrecked with violent trembles and hitched breath. His small frame rocked tremendously as he started hiccupping and wheezing noisily. Worried for the worst, John went to his youngest and reached a hand.

Before he could even touch Sammy's hair, the baby – _his baby_ - shrieked an alarming scream and ran away from him. The two year-old rushed to the couch and covered his body with the cloak Dean had made earlier and burrowed deeper into the cushion; still trembling and crying like there was no tomorrow.

Seeing how his brother tried to run away from their father, Dean understood. Sammy was not really scared of John but he was scared of what John had made of himself. Their father was dressed as a clown, wearing striking colors on his face and clothes and he even had the red button nose. Dean knew Sammy hated clowns – _Ronald McDonald never got flashed on their TV screen because each time it appeared in the restaurant commercial Sammy would screamed for him to switch it off_ – but he never knew it was this serious.

"Aww Dad…you know Sammy hates clowns" Dean groaned as he walked towards his baby brother. When his father headed the same way, Dean shot him a warning glare and John halted immediately.

For John, it was really his first time knowing Sammy hated clowns and here he was, dressed up stupidly like a clown, thinking that all kids loved clowns. When he walked from the Impala to the motel door just a moment ago, there were kids pointing their fingers at him, shouting and calling for him too excitedly. Then again, here his own son was scared to death by only catching a glimpse of him. He took off the button nose and watched as Dean progressed towards Sammy; whose trembles were getting fiercer as time passed. It wrenched his heart to see Sammy being so damn scared and it hurt even more to realize he was the source of Sammy's fear when all the while he'd been trying hard to protect his boys from all sort of things.

"Sammy…now, now, it's okay" Dean hushed his baby brother as he perched on the edge of the couch, facing Sammy. He put a hand on Sammy's back and frowned a little when his brother jerked away; clearly scared and traumatized. "It's just daddy" Dean whispered soothingly as he wrapped his arms around Sammy's trembling frame.

Sammy, immediately recognizing his big brother's soothing touches, turned around and tossed himself into Dean's embrace, hiding from his father. He buried his face to Dean's torso and whimpered silently. Grasping tightly to Dean's shirt, Sammy's tiny fingers clung to the fabric like it was some sort of salvation for his fear.

Dean made a hushing sound as he tucked Sammy's head under his chin and carefully lifted him up into his cradle. The six year-old Winchester stood up from the couch and carried his baby brother into the room, closing the door softly behind him.

"Where's the birthday boy?" Bobby appeared into the room holding a cake complete with lit candles. He looked around the room and found no one other than a stupefied clown standing near a couch without his funny button red nose.

…………………………………………..

Dean carried Sammy to the bed and sagged down on it. Shifting Sammy gently so his baby brother would be sitting comfortably in his laps, Dean leant against the stacked pillows. Sammy's body in his arms still held the trembles though the hitching breath was fairly gone, leaving behind sobs and hiccups. He positioned baby Sammy so the little one's back would leant against his chest and his head tucked under his chin. Then he curled his arms around Sammy's chubby figure, hugging him tight; wishing silently it would ease Sammy's uncontrollable fear.

"It's okay now Sammy…the clown's gone" Dean hushed Sammy as he carded his slim fingers through Sammy's unruly hair. His baby brother's skin was clammy and cold so Dean hugged Sammy closer to him and planted a ghostly kiss on top of Sammy's head.

"Deannie kill?"

Dean understood Sammy's whimper as an inquiry whether he had killed the clown. He was right after all. Sammy didn't even recognize the clown as their father. He simply saw their old man as the scary killer clown from outer space, coming down to earth to get him.

"Yeah…I killed him" Dean nodded eagerly and flashed a triumphant smile.

Still Sammy was not convinced of his assurance because the toddler's sob and whimper just got more intense than before. The image of the clown would have had embedded Sammy's little head and thinking of it made the baby got even scarier. '_How can he make this right?_'. Dean almost didn't know what to do. He never saw Sammy got this scared before. Not when he was around protecting him. It hurt him so much to see Sammy suffered as such.

A desperate situation called for a desperate measure. Dean wouldn't even dream of doing what he was about to do if it wasn't for Sam. He knew as much as Sammy loathed clowns, his little brother loved this so greatly. Dean cleared his throat and coughed once. Then he started.

"_My bonnie lies over the ocean,_

_My bonnie lies over the sea,_

_My bonnie lies over the ocean,_

_Oh bring back my bonnie to me…."_

Dean finished the last sentence and waited for Sammy's response. The nursery rhyme Mary had always sang to him and Sammy every night when she tucked them to bed was able to attract the littlest one's attention as Dean could feel some movement under him. Sammy's stiff body went lax and his sobbing lessened almost instantly. But it was not enough for the baby to calm down completely. So Dean continued.

"_Bring back, oh bring back,_

_Oh bring back my bonnie to me, to me,_

_Bring back, oh bring back,_

_Oh bring back my bonnie to me"_

This time Sammy lifted his face and looked at Dean; moving with amazing flexibility. His eyes glassy and red from tears he had shed. Sammy's chubby cheeks were stained with dried tears and there was a flush of red on his bluish oxygen-lacked face. But the look of fear on his little brother's feature had completely vanished and was replaced with hopes. Dean understood it perfectly. With the best sweet voice he could ever produce, Dean sang the rhyme again. This time, he did it his way.

"_My Sammy lies over the ocean,_

_My Sammy lies over the sea,_

_My Sammy lies over the ocean,_

_Oh bring back my Sammy to me…_

_Bring back, oh bring back,_

_Oh bring back my Sammy to me, to me,_

_Bring back, oh bring back,_

_Oh bring back my Sammy to me"_

His remake succeeded in bringing back little Sammy's terrified spirit into his small body. His baby brother looked up at him in awe; mouth slight agape, and clapped a little too merrily. He bounced up and down in Dean's laps and giggled with glee. From the feedback, Dean knew instantly all was forgiven and forgotten. The clown was dead in Sammy's head and now the song played its role occupying Sammy's little head.

"Again!" Sammy demanded and he sure as hell not going to get no as an answer. Despite of the insistence of his little brother, Dean had had enough. He shook his head; much to the latter's disappointment. Crossing his tiny short arms across his chest, Sammy puckered his lips and pouted. "Again!" he squelled.

"No Sammy…." Dean huffed tiredly as he turned Sammy to face him. And My! Wasn't it a big a mistake? He found himself looking down to a pair of adorable big brown puppy eyes which stared back at him, laced with trembling puny red lips and soft pleading whines. Dean gulped nervously and later hunched his bony shoulders in defeat. "Okay…last one, alright?" it was Sammy's birthday after all.

Sammy jumped happily, knowing well Dean had submitted to him – though he knew not of the reason. He crawled away from Dean's laps and lied on his tummy on the bed, propped his head on his folded arms and waited for Dean to start.

Dean took a deep breath and sang out the first word. "My bonnie…" he stopped when baby Sammy interrupted him eagerly.

"Sammy" the baby claimed.

"My my! Aren't you demanding?" Dean clicked his tongue and Sammy returned it with the biggest and the goofiest grin ever. "If you bring this up later…" Dean threatened his little brother and the baby gave him a confused look. Dean rolled his eyes and flailed his hand "Ah…never mind"

With the sweetest of voice, Dean sang his version of My Bonnie again and this time he gave his fullest effort. A birthday present for a perfect baby brother should be something made out so perfectly.

……………………………………..

John and Bobby watched in silence as little Dean sang the My Sammy song to his baby brother. His voice was angelic. Not only it eased Sammy's fear, but it helped lessen the guilt engulfing John after Sammy's nervous breakdown. They had been watching the boys in secret through the slightly ajar door since the beginning.

It tore John's heart to see Dean comforting Sammy; a much familiar sight he'd used to see when Mary was still around. Less than two years ago, it would have been Mary in Dean's place. John sucked at comforting and he considered himself lucky to be blessed with Dean when he had lost Mary. Since Mary's death, it had been Dean taking up the empty spaces she left behind. John even thought Sammy looked up to Dean as his mommy instead of his big brother.

A firm squeeze on his shoulder brought John back to his feet. He turned around and saw Bobby smiling at him.

"You've raised two good kids…they'll be fine young men when they grew up" Bobby assured the oldest Winchester.

John smiled in return.

'Good men?'. They continued watching the two little ones jumping and singing merrily on the worn out motel bed.

"Yeah…Good men indeed" John thanked God silently for Dean and Sammy, the best things that ever happened to him despite of the lost he had to endure.

**END**

a/n:

You might have noticed the present tense I used in Dean's part. It was basically a stream-of-consciousness narration, an attempt to tell the story from Dean's perspective of what happens around him at the actual time. I don't know if I did it right. Have mercy though, he. Encouraging comment is gladly welcomed.

_Coulrophobia_ is the term used for the fear of clowns, so I thought _coulrophobic_ would be the act of making someone scared of clowns (as in claustrophobic). Correct me if I'm wrong though.

My Bonnie is a nursery rhyme (which I know most of you grew up listening to it). It was made commercially into a song in 1962.

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